My partner, Andrew, and I allow for intimate moments each week to be with each other in what has become a deeply passionate and powerful Love expression. Our expression of intimate Love sharing has grown magnificently over the 12+ years of our romantic relationship. It feels that we GET to leave this density and experience a vibration and field that is beyond 3D.
Recently, on one particular afternoon, someone unexpectedly showed up at our hale in the midst of what could have been the climax of our sexual intimacy that particular day. They peered through the window, although we had a make-shift curtain in place covering the entry sliding door. My partner and I break our union, he throws on a pair of shorts, and although he is a bit hard of hearing, I imagined he heard my voice asking that the visitor be asked to come back another time and not enter our sacred space.
The next thing I know (as I am in bed with a sheet covering the body) the guest has walked in, Andrew has said no-thing, and the energy of the visitor was loud. I was unable to respond, unable to speak, one being incredulous that our intimate space had been “invaded” and two, that Andrew did not voice that this was not an appropriate time for a visit!
The visitor then begins to tell a story about when some family members of hers were “busted” by their children when they were making whoopee, or some such derogatory description.
Whoopee? Is that what Andrew & I were doing in the visitor’s estimation?
The visitor is speaking to me and I am totally unable to respond… no words are forthcoming. I “thought” that is was obvious what Andrew and I had been up to, however clearly it was not, for the visitor took Andrew outside onto the patio to chat, as I lay in bed awaiting his return. After a number of moments, I understood that Andrew was not returning anytime soon and that he was not expressing nor clarifying that we were in the height of sexual intimacy when the visitor peered into the window!
I sat in bed for some length of time, again, incredulous at this turn of events! How was the visitor so insensitive to what was unfolding prior to their arrival and thereby, disturbance?
This called for an immediate forest visit to heal the thoughts that were running rampant!
I quickly got my forest attire on and left. (BTW, neither my partner nor our guest was aware of my departure.)
In the beginning of my forest walk, I was working through the disbelief. Why had Andrew even allowed our guest into our sacred space? Why had he not said something immediately? Why had he not disclosed what we were doing so that we could continue? Did he not have the same desire as me? Why was he permitting another to come between us? Why wasn’t our intimate sharing the most important thing in that moment? Why was he not standing up for us? Why was Andrew allowing someone else to dictate the afternoon that we had set aside for “us”? There was so much conversation within my li’l head!
Slowly, I began to unravel the story.
I was unable to speak when our guest burst in through the sliding door that had not been veiled (our hale is surrounded by glass sliding doors!) Andrew was most likely in a similar state and unable to speak as well. This is Andrew’s work: to speak his truth regardless of how it is received, knowing that as it comes from Love, he is honoring himself. Both Andrew and I have Mercury square Saturn in our astrological charts, an obstacle we chose at birth for learning to speak our truth. I am compassionate to our learnings with this, and re-cognized this is his work, and in this case, he did not choose to extend his voice, but rather flow with what another wanted (our guest in this case). I was coming to a place of compassion.
Now, for our guest, what would have prompted them to be so inconsiderate, so insensitive? Perhaps they had not experienced what I GET to experience with my beLoved partner? Perhaps they did not have any inclination about the depths that we GET to explore in our sexual intimacy. Ahhhh, I begin to feel compassion for our guest.
What am I to do with my continued internal dis-comfort? What wants to be voiced?
My practice is to utilize NVC (Non-Violent Communication) in all communications, particularly those that may be deemed “challenging”.
What was I feeling? After some time walking, the forest assisted me in what came forth: lack of respect, feeling dishonored, and an old stand by for me, “not feeling seen”. My work was to feel the emotions, learn from them, release them, and speak my truth. It took more time walking in the magical, assistive, supportive forest, for me to release the grip of the emotions. What assisted was knowing that we three each had blessons (lessons & blessings) from this encounter. As I recognized that, compassion set in … compassion for Andrew’s inability to speak; compassion for our guest’s lack of sensitivity; compassion for myself recognizing that I was being supported to speak my truth, if I had the opportunity when I got home. As I returned to the car, I practiced, practiced, practiced, releasing my attachment to whether our guest was still at home. I KNEW in my heart of hearts, that if they were at our home, I was required (by Spirit) to speak my truth with I Am statements, using NVC techniques. If they had already left, then it was clear to me that I was not to practice stating my truth in person. I knew I would have moments with my partner to learn what had unfolded for him and where the disconnect was.
As I pulled onto the land, the guest’s car was parked in the same location. OK, I KNEW what was being asked of me to do. As I walked to our hale, I consciously practiced presence, feeling the air upon my skin, feeling the sensations of the aliveness of the body.
My partner and our guest were outside our hale concluding their conversation. I walked over (neither of them had known that I left the premises) and looked directly at our guest. I made eye contact. What came out was from the heart, from the pain I had felt, and something to the effect: “I feel disrespected. I feel dishonored. What Andrew and I share is a sacred joining that was unexpectedly interrupted by your presence at an untimely moment.” They asked why I hadn’t said anything earlier. In so many words, I replied that this was because I simply could not, was not able to, communicate. I put my hands together in an honoring gesture (prayer like) and stepped away.
I had done what Spirit called forth. I could have been more gentle in my delivery. It was rather forthright. In hind sight, I could have given our guest more moments to respond, however, it was everything I could muster up just to say what I had said.
Andrew and I discussed all this shortly after our guest departed, with ease and Grace. I have the greatest of Gratitude for my Loving partner. I “knew” what he was up against in stating his truth. Opportunities for him to speak his truth in what may feel to be “uncomfortable” situations will present themselves again until we have it mastered, this lifetime or next or next.
I also will be given the opportunity to speak my truth again and again, until, according to the Pleiadian High Council:
When you have developed the ability to clearly and unobstructedly “speak your truth” with LOVE…in a way that is non-threatening and simplified to the point of digestibility…all others will fall in resonance with your words
BTW, our day ended beautifully, bringing closure to what had been interrupted.
May this li’l story assist in reminding us to speak our truth from presence, from Love. May we re-mind ourselves to respond (from a place of Peace) rather than re-act (ego-driven). May we ask for Guidance AND listen with clarity. May we respond to Guidance received with trust in the unfolding.